A Quick Explanation

Hi, I'm Emily. I'm 23 and I live in England. 

Those are the kind of details I put everywhere so you can know them too, that is if anyone reads this other than me. I am starting this blog, as I want somewhere to put what I am feeling, when I am feeling it. Without being that person on Facebook. I also want somewhere where I can write, I used to write all of the time but then life got in the way, so now I am finding a way to claim my time back. 

As I write this, we are nearing the end of September, it's still sunny but the temperature is definitely falling. I have to confess, I am excited for the winter. Christmas is my favourite time of the year, all the food, the candles, the festivities as well as getting to spend quality time with the ones I love. Also Christmas means that Laura is coming home, just for a bit. 

Laura, my best friend since school, moved to Canada at the beginning of August, and since she has gone I have felt like a huge chunk of me is missing. I know that sounds very selfish of me, and I am very proud of her and so happy that she is doing something so cool, but this is my blog, I can be selfish here. Now of course I haven't told her how much it has affected me, I tell her I miss her, but I don't want to hold her back. Besides we each have our own lives to live. Maybe I will do a more in depth post about how much I miss her, but this is just a brief introduction to me and the main characters in my life. 

Speaking of main characters in my life, I should probably mention Jed. Jed is my boyfriend, partner, other half, whatever words people use to describe the relationship. We have been together for just under two years, and known each other for just over that. I adore him, he is kind and gentle, calm and quiet. He is exactly what I need, that is not to say however that we don't argue. We have moments, where we argue like we have never disagreed with another person in our lives, where if we don't get our points across in one minute the world will in fact end. Even when we fight like that, we remain, we stay strong and we hold each other. I tell him everything, even if it's hard to say. He is getting better at being more open and not being afraid of his feelings. I've never been afraid to feel, something that my family taught me.

My family is large, chaotic and absolutely batshit crazy. I know that everyone thinks their family is crazy, but mine legitimately is. There is a saying in my family, that started with my dad and uncle that is "It's not a party until the police are called". Despite this we appear to be a standard middle class, white family. I have a brother, two sisters, a mum, a stepdad, a dad, more grandparents than should be legal and three dogs. I don't live with them anymore, but I still see them regularly enough. My parents split when I was 10 years old, and I never blamed myself. However I did take on the responsibility of looking after my siblings, which no one asked me to do. I just saw it as my task. This made my grandma quite cross by all accounts, not at me, but at my parents. That is probably a post for another day, after all it took a year of therapy to understand so it will probably take more than a paragraph to explain.

I'm sure other confidantes and companions will appear on this blog at varying points, and you will have a chance to get to know parts of them. But that is the basic cast for now. 

On to the setting of this post, I mentioned I moved out from my family home. I've only been living away for nine months now, Jed and I moved in together in late January. We rent a little two bed flat, that we have made rather cosy and nice. It's our space, with the perfect fusion of both of us. Since moving out I have learnt that I can cook, and that I am shit at washing up (Mum has a dishwasher, I grew up spoiled clearly). I have also learned that Jed leaves everything to the last minute, but he is also much better at doing the chores I hate. I have to admit, moving out has been much harder than I could have ever imagined. It's expensive, it forces you to learn a huge amount about yourself (and your partner if you move in with them), it also makes you realise why your parents told you to turn the lights off every time you left your room. Moving out has also been good for me, I've had to toughen up and deal with the hard stuff, but I also have my own little corner of the world to be safe in, when I can't be tough. 

I hope I can keep this updated with life as it happens, or just what I am feeling at certain times. If I do, I'll talk to you soon. 

Love Em x